Saturnalia of Self: Week Two: “Let the Stars Drop It for You”

🌀 THE SMOKE BREAK

Grand Rising, celestial misfits.

The cosmos is throwing sparkly rocks at the planet again, which means honesty falls from the sky whether we like it or not.

Lean back. Open your crown. Pretend you know what you’re doing.

That’s this week’s vibe.

🌤 COSMIC FORECAST

The Geminids peak, bringing downloads disguised as inconveniences.

Mercury snitches on your unfinished emotional business.

Venus says, “Oh babe, not this again.”

Saturn just nods at the chaos like he’s been expecting it.

This week is about letting go — but in a funny way, not a noble one.

🜂 TODAY’S UNWISE WISDOM

If something falls apart this week, assume the universe did it on purpose and you’re merely being informed.

Release the illusion of control and embrace the part where you shrug dramatically and say, “Okay fine, I’m listening.”

🔮 TINY SPELL FOR WAYWARD WITCHES

A Micro-Spell to Drop the Damn Thing

  1. Hold your hand out like you’re offering something.

  2. Name the thing you’re clutching too tightly.

  3. Uncurl each finger slowly.

  4. Whisper: “Gravity can have it.”

  5. Imagine it falling to the ground.

  6. Don’t you dare pretend to pick it up again. Just walk away.

🛍 THE MERCH TABLE BY THE DOOR (FREE)

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Perfect for witchy gifting, hexmas shrines, or sending chaotic cheer to your coven.

Filled with irreverent runes, jokes, and cosmic nonsense. Leaves this dimension when the year does.

☕ A Rumbling in the Aether…

Something ceramic is on its way.

A mug designed for airing your grievances with both style and caffeine.

More soon.

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